The ghost of Christmas present Essays

The ghost of Christmas present Essays The ghost of Christmas present Paper The ghost of Christmas present Paper Essay Topic: A Christmas Carol In Stave 3, which presents the second of the three spirits, The ghost of Christmas present, Scrooge tells the spirit that he has learnt from the last ghost. I went forth last night on compulsion and I learnt a lesson. Scrooge wants to be taught from this ghost as well. He wants to change his ways. Tonight if you ought to reach me, let me profit by it. Scrooge wants to learn and he shows signs that he wants to change. Notably in this stave, Scrooge questions the spirit about the health of tiny Tim. Scrooge asks the spirit this question with an interest he had never felt before. The reply to Scrooge is negative and Scrooge pleads to the ghost to spare his life. He feels that he does not pay Bob Cratchit enough money. The spirit uses Scrooges words If he be like to die he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. This suggests that tiny Tim will soon die. Scrooge is then overcome with penitence and grief. Dickens then presents a poor familys Christmas to his readers. The Cratchit family do not have a lot, but what they do have they make the most of. The food they have at the table for Christmas dinner is not nearly enough to feed them all properly. The goose was cheap, which indicates it was small. Mrs Cratchit is wearing a twice turned gown but brave in ribbons which are cheap. All these are examples of how poor the Cratchits are, but they are generous and loving to each other and Bob Cratchit even tries to thank his harsh employer for the holiday in a toast to Mr Scrooge. Scrooge has been visited by two of the three spirits now. The reader senses that he has learnt a lot and his personality is beginning to change for good. Stave 4 The final spirit the ghost of Christmas yet to come appears in stave 4. He is described as a phantom and was shrouded in a deep black garment, much like the Grim Reaper. The atmosphere in this stave is extremely dark, especially at the beginning. The ghost is also mysterious and unlike the other ghosts. This one doesnt speak which adds mystery. Also much like Scrooge, it spreads coldness. This spirit is dark in contrast to the first two, who were bright. We sense that Scrooge is on the road to repentance, but he has not yet transformed himself. Scrooge wants to know if he can change his future, or whether he has already made the chains he will carry in his afterlife. Some businessmen talk about Scrooges death for a short time with no real care. They soon change the subject. This shows that nobody cares if Scrooge is alive or dead. Dickens makes it clear that it is Scrooges death they are discussing, but until the end of the stave, Scrooge is shown as not realising that he is witnessing the events after his own death. Later, the spirit shows Scrooge that people were stealing his belongings while he was lying on his bed, dead. One woman stole his best shirt when he was lying dead and another stole his curtains. When they sell these items Scrooges reactions show how much he is affected. The spirit then takes Scrooge to a dead body and a graveyard. Scrooge is then faced with his dead body and his gravestone. Scrooge takes to this very badly and starts to plead with the ghost, I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. Why show me this if I am past all hope? This shows that Scrooges personality has changed a lot and is continuing to change. He knows he must keep this personality or he will die with a chain. I will not shut out the lessons they teach. He will not forget what the spirits have taught him. Stave 5 starts with Scrooge waking up in his bed. He is very jolly and merry. He then opens his window and cries out to the world, A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy new year to all the world! This is a big contrast compared with stave 1 where Scrooges nephew says Merry Christmas to him and Scrooge replied bah humbug. This shows a complete change in Scrooges personality. Scrooge starts his new ways by buying the biggest turkey he can and sending it to Bob Cratchit and his family. This is a big change from when Scrooge argued with Bob about having a day off on Christmas day. The boy who Scrooge asked to buy the turkey for him was the carol singer that came to Scrooges door in stave 1 and Scrooge scared him off with a ruler, but in stave 5 he gave the boy at least a shilling extra to keep. Later that day he met the portly gentlemen who asked him for a donation to charity in stave 1. This time Scrooge gave them a very generous donation. This shows that Scrooges happiness isnt based on wealth anymore and he is much more sharing and giving. Scrooge then remembers his nephews invitation for Christmas dinner. He is quite nervous, which is a feeling that we havent seen Scrooge have before. He then had to pluck up his courage to go and knock on the door. He went into the room where Fred was and asked permission to come in. Fred jumped up and shook his hand. This shows that even the worst person can be forgiven. Scrooge is at home in a matter of minutes. This is a remarkable change in Scrooge he now appreciates Christmas. The next morning Scrooge is working and Bob Cratchit comes in late. Scrooge growls, hallo Bob then starts apologising. Scrooge then makes it seem like he is going to fire Bob but instead he raises his salary. This also shows that Scrooges happiness doesnt revolve around wealth anymore. It also says in the book that tiny Tim did not die and Scrooge became a second father to him. Scrooge helps other people and charities. He talks to people in the street and becomes a cheerful man. This is a change from stave 1 where people avoided him in the street and even a blind mans dog stayed away from him. Conclusion In conclusion, the novel carries a powerful message both to Dickenss original Victorian readers and to us today. It shows us that Christmas is not just about opening presents, but is about being with family and friends who love us and having a jolly time with them. Whereas today people only seem to worry about what they get for Christmas. Perhaps Dickens A Christmas Carol still has a valuable message for us all. It is about our responsibility towards those who are less fortunate. Dickens wanted Victorian society to be transformed not just his character Scrooge. There is a clear resemblance between the deformed children ignorance and want and the starving children we see in ages of today. Overall this novel clearly has relevance to todays society

Syllabus - Tells You Everything You Need To Know About Your College Class

Syllabus - Tells You Everything You Need To Know About Your College Class When I first started college I had no idea what my professor meant when she said she was about to distribute the syllabus. Over the rest of that first day I came to understand that a syllabus is a guide to the course. Many students dont take advantage of the information provided in the syllabus to plan their semester. The syllabus contains all of the information you need to know regarding what is expected of you and what you need to do to prepare for each class. Heres what you will find on the syllabus distributed on the first day of class: Information about the Course Course name, number, meeting times, number of credits Contact Information The professor lists the location of his or her office, office hours (times that he or she is in the office and available for meeting with students), phone number, email, and website, if relevant. Plan to use a professors office hours to get the most out of class. Required Readings Textbook, supplemental books, and articles are listed. Books generally are available in the campus bookstore and sometimes are on reserve in library. Articles are sometimes offered for purchase in the book store, other times are on reserve in the library, and increasingly common, are available on a course or library webpage. Read before class to get the most out of class. Course Components Most syllabi list the items that compose your grade, for example, midterm, paper, and final, as well as the percent each item is worth. Additional sections often discuss each course component. You might find a section on exams, for example, that lists information about when they occur, what form they take, as well as the professors policy on making up exams. Pay particular attention to sections discussing papers and other written assignments. Look for information about the assignment. What are you expected to do? When is the final assignment due? Are you expected to consult the professor prior to beginning your paper or project? Is a first draft required? If so, when? Participation Many professors count participation as part of the grade. Often they will include a section in the syllabus describing what they mean by participation and how they assess it. If not, ask. Professors sometimes say that they simply record it and provide few details on how. If thats the case you might consider visiting during office hours in a few weeks to inquire about your participation, whether it is satisfactory, and whether the professor has any suggestions. Many times participation is used as a synonym for attendance and professors may list it in simply order to address students who do not show up for class. Class Rules/Guidelines/Policies Many professors provide guidelines for class behavior, often in the form of what not to do. Common items address the use of cell phones and laptops, tardiness, respecting others, talking in class, and attention. Sometimes guidelines for class discussions are included. In this section or sometimes a separate section, professors often will list their policies regarding late assignments and their make-up polices. Pay particular attention to these policies and use them to guide your behavior. Also recognize that you can shape professors impressions of you with appropriate class behavior. Attendance Policy Pay particular attention to the professors attendance policies. Is attendance required? How is it recorded? How many absences are permitted? Must absences be documented? What is the penalty for unexcused absences? Students who dont pay attention to attendance policies can be unexpectedly disappointed with their final grades. Course Schedule Most syllabi include a schedule listing due dates for reading and other assignments. Reading List Reading lists are particularly common in graduate classes. Professors list additional readings that are pertinent to the topic. Usually the list is exhaustive. Understand that this list is for reference. Professors likely will not tell you this, but they dont expect you to read the items on the reading list. If you have a paper assignment, however, consult these items to determine if any are of use. One of the simplest and best pieces of advice I can offer you as a student is to read the syllabus and make note of policies and deadlines. Most policy, assignment, and deadline questions I receive can be answered by, Read the syllabus - its in there. Professors dont always remind you of upcoming assignments and due dates. Its your responsibility to be aware of them and to manage your time accordingly. Take advantage of the course syllabus, an important guide to your semester.

Hospital Administartion Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Hospital Administartion - Essay Example Within the context of what was previously mentioned, Sentara offers a variety of services, for patients ranging from newborn to elderly, and in almost every field. Sentara has also focused on providing first aid, as it pioneered the first air ambulance service in the region called Nightingale, as well as implementing new protocols in 2000 that dramatically improved the survival rate and lowered the effects of stroke. Also, in 2006, it implemented the 12-Lead EKG system that enabled doctors in Sentara hospitals to receive EKG's from paramedics on route to the hospital. While providing both inpatient and outpatient services, it should be mentioned that Sentara has focused the past years on several fields, improving their methods and technology. These fields include oncology, cardiology and urology. Oncology is an ever developing field, and Sentara managed to develop their methods and expand the scope of their treatments to provide the best care for its customers. In 2000, it implemented a computer-aided detection system for breast cancer, revealing cancers earlier, and therefore improving the effectiveness of treatments. It also implemented several systems in 2002 for a better effectiveness of radiation treatments, such as stereotactic radio surgery, Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy and brain wafers, all with the purpose of effectively delivering chemotherapy and radiation treatments to tumors without damaging surrounding tissue. In addition, in 2005 it is the first healthcare network in the region to use the recently approved FDA chemotherapy ViaCirqO method for treating abdominal cancers. Sentara also implemented certain revolutionary surgical techniques in treating cancers. In 2002, the Zeus surgical robot was used to treat prostate cancer, making small incisions and m inimizing scars. From 2004-2007 has been implementing the Da Vinci surgical robotic system that has been implemented in several aspects of thoracic, urinary and oncologic surgery, reaching the number of 500 surgeries performed in 2007 since its implementation. As cardiovascular diseases are the leading cause of death in the United States, Sentara has also focused on perfecting the procedures and machinery involved in treatment of such diseases. Procedures like transmyocardial revacscularization that increases the blood flow to the heart is beating-heart bypass surgery is one of the many techniques utilized by the physicians. In 2002, Sentara performed the first adult congenital atrial septal defect interventional repair. In 2004, this procedure was improved even further, by pioneering a new transcatheter technique, reducing patient's recovery time from 6 weeks to 2-3 days. It also pioneered several new devices in the region, such as the HeartMate II, which is a device assisting in transplants in 2005, and a latest in CT and MRI technology in 2007 in order to better detect cardiac tumors, septal defects and the percent of damage after a heart attack. Urology is also one of the more prominent areas of healthcare that Sentara focuses on. They provide the InterStim therapy, which is a rare procedure throughout the hospitals in US, and just recently made available for patients. It is also the healthcare

Enterprise and Entrepreneurial Management Essay - 16

Enterprise and Entrepreneurial Management - Essay Example writing business magazine,it involves social and opinion research that is systematic in gathering and interpreting information about individuals and other organizations through the use of statistics and analytical methods in order to gain insight and support decision making. It determines a research plan should outline the objectives of the research and give information on the potential of an idea. Creating a list of questions and creating a plan for answering these questions will prove beneficial at the end of the research. Researching apotential market is essential when setting up a business, the knowledge acquired is invaluable to the future of the business because it helps assess the viability of the venture. When conducting a market research certain points should be considered like the target market and competition. A market research must establish the target market of business; this involves knowing their preferences and style. The target market is affected by their income and lifestyle and this influences their buying decisions. The research will also indicate the quantity the buy by the consumers, this will help the sole trader stock on the fast moving goods that are bough in bulk rather than invest in slow-moving goods that could lead to losses. When researching the target audience, the information acquired will influence the location of the business, it should be located in an accessible and strategic place whether for persons driving and otherwise. A sole trader needs to establish reasons on why the target audience should buy from them and not the competition. The business idea should be wanted or needed by the target market. The main idea behind market research is to gain perspective and get informed to enable make the best decision. Research is also important in understanding the competition, a sole trader may consult the competition products that are successful and find out the reasons for this and the same from the businesses that have failed in

The representation of Gender roles Essay Example for Free

The representation of Gender roles Essay The representation of Gender roles is an issue expressed in The Penguin best Australian Short stories collection. The issues of gender are expressed through gender inequality, stereotypical gender roles, the economic basis of marriage, and the expectations of women. These beliefs and their changes as the stories became more modern are presented through the stories, Monsieur Caloche, The Lottery and A Gentlemans Agreement. The representation of gender inequality is expressed in the story Monsieur Caloche (1889) through a satirical point of view. This story represents the workplace and throughout most of the story the readers notice that there was a deficiency of female characters. The irony is that at the end of the stories the readers find out that the main character Monsieur Caloche is in fact a young girl, who had lost her beauty after suffering from smallpox, and resorted to looking for a job as a boy. Hiding the loss which had deprived her of all the glory of her sex. Beauty is more than skin deep, however Monsieur Caloche had not known it. This is an example of gender inequality in Australia during the 19th century. The story The Lottery (1943) represents the stereotypes of the gender roles through the view of Ted, the husband. Ted had strong opinion about what men and women were supposed to act and about what a good husband and a good wife did. All she had to do was stay at home and look after the children. he had a vision of his washed cream trousers, the childrens neatness, the tidy house. That was being a good wifeand he has always been a good husband, always brought his money home, never looked at another woman. This shows that the genders were stereotyped in Australia in the 1940s. Another gender issue brought up in the story The Lottery is the economic basis of marriage. The man was the economic base of the family and everyone in the story assumes that a wifes money is her husbands to dispose of. He could do almost anything he could think of with five thousand pounds. This shows that Ted was already assuming the money was his, as does his neighbour who had money problems. Ted says confidently to him I wont see you stuck, old man. The Lottery also brings up an issue of expectations and changes of the women in the 1940s. Ted had expected Grace to call him to tell him the news of the Lottery and to tell him about everything she does. The readers notice that he was more critical of Grace than affectionate. He was more concerned about where Grace got the money to buy the Lottery ticket. It seems that she had no right to spend his money on something other than the basic needs of the family. He mustve been paying her too much for housekeeping. This shows that there were high expectations of Australian women during that period of time from their husbands. The women were expected to do as if the husband owned them and their sole role was to look after the family. At end of the Lottery we learn that Grace as a woman was able to take a stand for what she wanted and to go against her husband, which shows that the gender roles were changing. The gender roles in the Australian short stories seem to shift as they become more recent. In the later story, A Gentlemans Agreement (1974) , there were no strong male characters at all. The mother was able to look after the family and was able to outsmart a man in order to do so. She tricks the buyer of the farm into a Gentlemans Agreement and when questioned by her children she says confidently, Well he can come on his land at any time, there is nothing in the gentlemans agreement that says he cant. This shows dramatic change of the female role in comparison to the earlier story Monsieur Caloche which presents women as the oppressed. The mother in the Gentlemans Agreement was dominant. However she still followed the expectations of looking after her family, yet she was also able to support her family economically. The Variation of gender roles over time can be seen to the representations of women in the stories, Monsieur Caloche, the lottery and A gentlemans Agreement. These variations can be seen through the presentation of gender inequality, stereotypical gender roles, the economic basis of a family and the expectations of women. The change in female characters from the oppressed in Monsieur Caloche to the more dominant in A gentlemans agreement explains that there was a variation of gender roles for the  characters, especially female characters, who not only fulfil their own roles but the roles of a stereotypical male as the stories became more modern.

Dishwalla :: essays research papers

Dishwalla Listen closely to Dishwalla, and you discover there is blood on these tracks. Twelve years and five albums after the band from Santa Barbara, California made their debut, Dishwalla endures. Together the group – lead singer JR Richards, guitarist Rodney Browning, bassist Scot Alexander, keyboardist Jim Wood and drummer Pete Maloney - have survived record company musical chairs, countless musical trends, and even the curious challenge of having their very own smash hit right out of the box. Through it all – the good, the bad and the ugly – Dishwalla have emerged stronger than ever, and in the process have established themselves as that rock & roll rarity: a real, working band that stays together to play together. Fittingly, then, Dishwalla (a self titled CD) is very much an album about survival and transcendence – an inspired song cycle about rising â€Å"Above The Wreckage† to borrow a phrase from one of the album’s numerous standout tracks. Recorded with three diverse yet distinguished producers – Bill Szymczyk (The Eagles, B.B. King), Sylvia Massy (Tool, System of a Down) and Ryan Greene (NOFX, Lag Wagon) – the new CD is, in the words of the group’s JR Richards, â€Å"very representative of our whole journey.† It’s a journey that, for many, began with Dishwalla’s 1996 platinum debut Pet Your Friends that included â€Å"Counting Blue Cars,† the compelling hit track that would define the band for its more casual fans. â€Å"A hit can be a blessing and a curse in the making,† Richards says with a smile. â€Å"We had a song so big that it overshadowed everything else we came up with for the next few years. You end up competing with yourself. It’s been a mixed blessing but one that’s helped us to keep working and keep going.† It’s also a song that’s led some to wrongly typecast Dishwalla as everything from a hardcore Christian band to hardcore feminists. For Richards, â€Å"It’s been interesting because some people thought we were a Christian band – and yet there’d be Christian groups protesting outside a club because we used `God’ as a feminine pronoun. Ultimately, what we learned is how that song really connected with so many people on such a lyrical level.† Dishwalla enjoyed less commercial success with their second album, 1998’s And You Think You Know What’s Life About, at least partially the result of record company downsizing and its resultant turmoil. Leaving their label, A&M Records, the band proceeded to release the lovely, introspective Opaline on the small Immergent label in 2002. â€Å"We were pretty beat up after our first two records and our third record was very

Parent Child Relationship Essay

Abstract This paper is about showing your children that you love them by promoting boundaries. It will explain what kids really want their parents know and understand. This paper also gets down to the basics of how to be a beacon of hope in this dark world. Show how to help our children maneuver through troubling situations by giving them positive values to fall back on. Love is the common thread which binds us together and without love, boundaries and discipline would not succeed the way it is meant to. This paper looks at different ways to be active at home, how to have a joy-filled home, and how to show the ones who mean the most to you how you feel. It also shows how emotions can affect how we parent. It takes us on a journey through our childhood, so many of our parenting tactics come from how we were parented whether it was good or bad it is what we based our parenting on. How Parents can Better Love & Understand Their Kids In this paper we will be discussing different techniques and methods practiced to make home the safe haven it is supposed to be. Some tips are given on how to bring fun and understanding into the home. Family White (1998) states, â€Å"if your family are the most important people in your life†¦show them, make your family your priority—strip away the non important things that take away time from them (p. 5). Kids just want to be loved and cherished. They need to feel like they belong somewhere and are special. Parents need to slow down and spend time with their children. We need to be good role models for our own kids. We need to have fun households to show the kids there is more to their music and TV, they can have a good time with the family (p. 37-41). Talk about goal setting as a family, â€Å"everyone has an opinion so everyone is included in pitching ideas of they would like to see the family accomplish, positive comments only. Then you need to clarify and organize your agreed-upon goals, and write down ways to accomplish each goal. You should designate a specific time to reflect and reevaluate your efforts as a family† (White, 1998, p. 41-42). White (1998) teaches a listening technique which was taught to him. â€Å"You begin by telling the person you are going to ask three questions and you will repeat them several times, but they need to give a different response each time. The goal is to get them to discover the solution and work toward applying it (p. 60-61). We need to be mindful of how we perceive things each person has his or her own view, and it may not match your personal view but we need to realize there is more than one way to do a task. Also, White (1998) speaks to us about time and how we cherish the moments with our loved ones, making sure our kids are confident & secure in who they are will help them be able to say no to certain things. We need to build up the kids by focusing on the positive and by letting them know they are loved (pp. 85-93). Not only is it our responsibility to build up our children, but we need to help them dream†¦have vision, and help them get to their dreams†¦don’t be a dream crusher. We may not believe what they do but we need to be supportive. How to be Positive â€Å"Your thinking directly affects your performance get rid of negative thinking. â€Å"You are what you are, and where you are because of what has gone into your mind† (Ziglar, 1989, pp. 18-20). Ziglar says, â€Å"When you change the input you change the output. We need to stop being so negative –if a task is too hard we say we can’t do it, we need to encourage our kids and ourselves to push through the tough times† (p. 24). â€Å"A successful life starts with having a loving and stable relationship with our family. Your attitude affects your outlook on life; qualities to strive for to have success in life are: dependability, friendliness, honesty and a sense of humor† (Ziglar, 1998, pp.41-42). Ziglar also said, â€Å"A solid foundation for children involves a solid moral base† meaning†¦you need to practice what you preach. â€Å"You need to look for and expect good from your children, stop looking at the bad and negative things and look for the good and positive in them and they will bloom† (Ziglar, 1998, p. 51). Be specific when you find something good in your child, tell them what it is exactly and continue to lift them up. Being Available as an Emotion Coach According to Gottman (1997), We need to help our kids deal with their emotions by being their emotion coaches and we do that with five steps 1) by being aware of their emotion, 2) recognize the emotion as a time for intimacy and teaching, 3) listen to them and validate their feelings, 4) help label the emotion with words and 5) set limits while finding ways to solve the problem (p.24). In step one, the focus is on recognizing when you are feeling an emotion, you can identify the feelings, and you are able to be sensitive to emotions in others (p. 76). Step two, when parents can use a negative experience to bring forth bonding with their children it builds intimacy and it teaches them how to deal with their feelings (p.93). During step three, two things take place, listening empathetically and validating the child’s feelings. Gottman suggests that this may be the most important step in emotion coaching! Not only are you listening with your ears, but you are using your eyes to look for physical confirmation of the child’s emotions. Parents also use their imagination to see things from the child’s perspective. They repeat back what they hear to help the child put words to his or her emotions. Lastly, they use their most precious gift of heart to feel what their child is feeling (p. 94). Step four is putting words to their emotions. Studies have shown that labeling emotions has a soothing effect on the nervous system, aiding the child to bounce back quicker from upsetting incidents (pp. 99-100). The final step is setting limits and problem solving. This step entails empathizing with the child’s feelings as well as discussing what is right and wrong behavior, and then coming up with alternative ways to handle their emotions (p. 101). Generally speaking, according to Gottman (1997), Children who have parents that practice â€Å"emotion coaching† have better physical health and score higher in academics. They seem to get along better with others and have fewer behavioral problems. Also noted, these children are less prone to act violently and seem to experience fewer negative feelings and more positive ones, and are considered to be healthier on an emotional level (p. 25). â€Å"There are results that show when parents use emotion coaching with their kids; there are buffering effects on children whose families are having difficulty and/or divorce. Another find from research shows that fathers who incorporate emotion coaching in parenting have an extremely positive impact on their children’s emotional development† (Gottman, 1997, p. 26). There are four types of parenting styles; depending on your style as a parent the effects can be detrimental to the child’s well-being. The styles are being dismissive, disapproving, laissez-faire, and the emotion coach. In the dismissive style, the child’s feelings are thought of as not important or trivial. The effect on the child is that he or she learns that their feelings are wrong or not valid. They feel that something is wrong with them as a person because of how they feel (p. 50). The disapproving style, judges and criticizes the child’s emotional expression as well as view emotions as weakness. The effect on the child is that he or she learns that their feelings are wrong or not valid. They feel that something is wrong with them as a person because of how they feel (p. 51). The laissez-faire style, does not teach the child about emotions, and offers little guidance on behavior. The effect on the child is he or she does not learn how to regulate their emotions and they have trouble making friends and getting along with others (pp. 51-52). The emotion coach style, does not feel that they have to fix every problem for the child and they respect the child’s emotions. The effect on the child is he or she can trust their feelings, solve problems, and get along well with others (p. 52). Parents need to take their time with their children, get to know them and understand their point of view. By learning to be empathetic listeners, parents can help their children learn to problem solve for themselves, enable their child to soothe themselves and become more well-rounded individuals. Showing empathy is like showing your child your heart. If you can let them know that you understand how they feel, they won’t feel down and they will feel confident that their parents care about them at the core of their emotions. How Love Heals In understanding the dynamic of parent and child Hendrix & Hunt (1997) use a metaphor describing the relationship as â€Å"a tapestry of life, meaning they are woven together by the threads and stitches of their interactions with one another† (p. 7). They use this to describe the delicate bond between the parent and child. If not careful you can tear and damage that bond. â€Å"These tears happen when you are not paying attention to the moment, or when you are experiencing emotional pain yourself† (Hendrix & Hunt, 1997, p. 8). The focus of the message given by Hendrix & Hunt (1997) is on being conscious in your parenting. This means â€Å"you are to meet the needs of your child by providing safety, support and structure as your child moves through each stage of development† (p. 38). Hendrix & Hunt (1997) mentioned â€Å"most parents are unconscious, but they are still good, kind, caring and committed people. They have been wounded and just have not healed into a greater self-awareness and self-acceptance† (p.45). According to Hendrix & Hunt (1997) there are five characteristics to unconscious parenting, â€Å"it cuts, it cuts the connection between parent and child. It is an inheritance, parents are parenting from their fears and wounds. It is unaware, these parents don’t realize what they do to their kids, and they felt cheated so the cycle continues. It causes exaggerated reactions, parents over or under react to what their child says or does. Lastly, it is ignorance, the parent doesn’t realize he or she is overreacting to the child’s normal behavior† (pp. 48-51). When a parent is ready to become a more conscious parent they need to learn how to listen and talk to their children. Hendrix & Hunt (1997) calls this â€Å"intentional dialogue; this includes mirroring, validating, and empathizing† (p. 106). According to Hendrix & Hunt, mirroring is when you have listened and repeat back what you believe you heard back to the person. Validating is when you let the speaker know that what they are saying makes sense. Empathizing is shown by recognizing the feelings of others as they explain their point of view (1997, p. 107-108). There needs to be a commitment on the part of the parent to be open to conscious parenting. Conscious parenting offers safety, support, and structure. The parent needs to create an environment that 1) is physically safe, 2) is emotionally supportive to the child’s growth, and 3) is structured to limits and boundaries (Hendrix & Hunt, 1997, pp.141-142). According to Hendrix & Hunt (1997), physical safety is the primary requirement of every living thing. The most important way to support a child is by validating how he or she feels. A conscious parent provides clear boundaries and sets limits to reinforce the child’s sense of safety and support (pp. 142-143, 153). No One Gets Me Dr Sachs is corresponding with one of his patients via letters being mailed to one another in, When no One Understands. This book was his response to what his patient wrote to him. This young lady was troubled and had tried a suicide attempt which is how they met. During their sessions she remained quiet she did not like to communicate by talking and because Dr. Sachs knew she was creative and a good writer so he decided to offer an alternative to the typical session. This brought her out of her shell a little to where she would talk to him in some sessions but the bulk of the treatment came through their letters. She did grow to trust him more and opened up to him regarding some things she felt her parents just were not â€Å"getting†. Encouragement and Self Discovery In, Taste Berries for Teens book series, is chock full of very touching letters from different teens going through different emotional trials. Youngs & Youngs do a great job at reaching out to the youth and giving them an outlet to share their feelings. â€Å"The purpose of this series is focused on â€Å"liking† yourself. A chance for getting to know and understand yourself on a deeper level. It tells of change and how one changes from year to year† (Youngs & Youngs, 2000, p.3). Boundaries Cloud & Townsend (1998) brings honest thought to mind when they discuss what kind of future is being created for your child if they are wild and reckless? We are preparing our children for the future (p. 14). There are three roles to being a parent, 1) guardian, 2) manager and 3) source. The guardian is legally responsible for the child and is his or her protector. The manager makes sure things get done and goals are reached, this role is a disciplinarian one. The source, the parent is the source of all good things (Cloud & Townsend, 1998, pp. 19-21). According to Clod & Townsend (1998) parents need to teach reality principle, which introduces true reality consequences such as not going to a movie because the room was not cleaned; it does not include negative relational consequences such as nagging or fussing. The child needs to â€Å"feel† the consequences not the parent (pp. 58-61). Setting Limitations Clinton & Sibcy talk about overprotecting, overindulging and over controlling your kids and how these can harm the child. Parents need to exercise balance we are to protect our children but when we over protect we damage their spirit and deter them from becoming the strong, independent adult they should be. Over controlling parents mean well, they want their child to succeed, but they push them to perfectionism and these children are afraid to fail. The over indulging parent may suffer from feelings of guilt but children need structure and in this case the child can become insecure, irritable and bored (p. 9-13). There is a healthy balance and it is the parent’s job to find it. Honestly it begins with love and respect, some have to learn that but it is give and take. If you don’t show the children these qualities, they cannot give it back to you. Conclusion I would just like to conclude by saying that I enjoyed this research and this topic were fun to delve into and I hope to use some of these techniques in my own home to help improve my relationship with my family communication is so important but the most important thing that I emphasize is that it all must be done in love and with love to work. You can bark orders and commands all day long but you and your children will suffer from the lack of love and respect. References Clinton, T., & Sibcy, G. (2006). Loving your child too much: Staying close to your kids without overprotecting, overindulging, or overcontrolling. Nashville, TN: Integrity Publishers. Cloud, H. & Townsend, J. (2001). Boundaries with kids. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. Gottman, J; (1997). The heart of parenting. New York, NY; Simon & Schuster Hendrix, H; Hunt, H; (1997). Giving the love that heals a guide for parents. New York, NY; Pocket Books. Sachs, B; (2007). When no one understands. Boston, MA; Trumpeter Books. Youngs, B; Youngs, J; (1995). Taste berries for teens #3. Deerfield Beach, FL; Health Communications, Inc. White, J; (1998). What kids wish parents knew about parenting. West Monroe, LA; Howard Publishing Co, Inc. Ziglar, Z; (1989). Raising positive kids in a negative world. New York, NY, Ballentine Books.